we should call the movie JOKER

which one is more convincing?

why so serious?

“time waits for no women”
—ex supermodel turns mother turns fashion mogul/tycoon turns reality star turns super-bitchy-and-loud-mouth boss, kimora lee simmons.

time seems to be taking vacations with men.

raise ur glass high

here is a toast to:

1. backstabbers
2. assholes
3. people who call themselves ‘friends’
4. singer/songwritter
5. waiter at mcdonald’s
6. cute bartender at local bar
7. ex boyfriends
8. so-called boyfriends
9. so-called family
10. loan officer
11. bankers who think they are so smart
12. miss smart ass/ know-it-all/ i-have-more-experience-than-u-do/i-slept-with-more-guys-than-u
13. annoying sales person
14. multi level market-er who called themselves businessmen (who are actually penipu, tertipu and di tipu with the skim cepat kaya )
15. bloggers who never fails to cheer me up on a gloomy day

*blink blink* another bimbo-tic post #2

have i told u i hate my own brother?

i do not know how we are related but somehow we are related. sometime i wish i m never related to him.
but that does not mean i m not glad to have him as my brother.
but i hate him.

i m glad that he is my brother n i m proud that he is my brother. but i hate him.
do u understand?

kecelaruan emosi

too many things going on in my mind lately.

it causes kecelaruan emosi.

i have been thinking and thinking. i still cant make up my mind.

big changes are gonna happen in my life. i do not know if i m ready for it. i do not know if i am mentally ready for it. if it happens, i do not know whether i can face it or not. if it happens, i m GLAD it happens. i need the changes, i dream of the changes, i pray for the changes.

it is a good change. i hope it happen. i m gonna mentally prepare for it.

it is tough world out there, and i m coming out of my comfort zone. i need this. please GOD. please. i really need changes in life. for the greater good. i REALLY NEED this, GOD. PLEASE.

8 random facts

1. i sometimes hate my friend. she cant stop talking about herself. everytime i see her, she talked constantly about herself. if it is not about herself, it will be about the guys she has been hanging out and banging. if it is not about them , it will be about her shitty colleagues. if it is not about them, it will be about her dates and how she has dates with different guys and every weekend. if it is not about them, it will be about her speed dating group and how much she loves meeting random strangers (and i believe some of them are creepy). if it is not about them, it will be about her new dress or top or make up or hair or whatever. everything has to be about her and the universe circles around her. no one else matters.

2. i dont complain. no matter how much i hate doing things that i hate. i dont complain. i embrace it. i try to enjoy it. i try to make the best out of the worst situations.

3. i m in love with this guy who dont even notice me. i mean he notices me, but he dont notice me. we have been friends for quite sometimes and i always make an effort to be at his every show. but he seems to look the other way round. i m trying my best not to be hurt by the things he is doing. i dont want to tell him how i feel about him because i know he will never feel the same way. so i m being an idiot and now, i m his support system. he said i m his support system. it is maybe because i m always there for him. frankly, i m tired of being there for him. i feel so stupid. so i m gonna stop being there for him. i have been living in shadows of someone i could never have a chance on.

4. i dont share my personal feeling with everyone. i dont even share my personal feelings with my good friends. why? because they all cant be trusted and i have trust issues. i used to tell my feeling to this one friend. i told her not to tell anybody. she ended up telling all (okay la not all but some) my friends about it. later, i found out that they laughed at me behind my back. huh. so much for being good friends and i swear i wont tell anybody kn. since that, i never tell anybody anything. i dont share my deepest darkest secret. that is why i start this blog and remain anonymous.

5. i still cant figure out the things that i really want to do in my life. i think i have no hala tuju. i used to have an ambition but it is too stupid. i have no idea what i want to be. i dont even know what i really like in this life. i think i dont deserve to grow up. sometimes, i feel like a total loser. i think i m a typical loser. compared to everyone else. i m a loser.

6. i seldom think about my happiness. i always think of others. i seldom think about myself. i always think of other people. i m always afraid that every decision that i make will effect other people therefore i always think of others before i make a decision. that is why sometimes i do things i dont like to do. if it makes other people happy, i will do it.

7. i cant say no. i m learning to say no. but i cant say no. i just cant. sometimes i wont because i dont want to disappoint other people.

8. there are the other side of me that people dont know. some people i know still think i m still the same stupid person they know years and years ago. i never show the other side of me. i have many different sides. with different group of people, i have different personalities. and i talk differently to.

old friends are hard to find because they are everywhere and old

i meet up with some old friends.

old friend #1: hoi…
old friend #2: woi..muker dh lain. almost didnt recognised u.
me : hahahaha~ sudah gemuk
old friend #2 : u girls love saying that kan. gemuk betul-betul baru tau.
me : hahahaha

old friend introduced me to his girlfriend.

old friend #1: babe, this is my friend. we were classmates.
me : hello.
girlfriend : hello. (shakes hand)
old friend #1 : she was my ex girlfriend.
me : huh? NOOO!
girlfriend : (looks at me with ‘wat-did-u-just-say’ look)
me : no. he is just playing around la.
old friend #1: hahhahah..look at the look on ur faces. hahhahah.

and his girlfriend was staring at me mcm nk makan. i think she hates me for a moment.

old friend #2: hey.long time no see. how r u?
me : great. fine. u?
old friend #2: great. eh. u two still together ker? (pointing at me and old friend #1)
me : no lah! since when we were together?
old friend #2: last time u guys spend every awaking moment together kn?
old friend #1 : she got sombong.
me : since when we spend every awaking moment together? he got busy k.
old friend #2: hahahhah. still tak berubah. still love arguing over nothing ker?
me : dude. his girlfriend is standing next to him la.

when i start wondering…

i wonder…am i normal? i mean i m physically and mentally normal. but am i normal?

i dont talk about the things girls talk about when they are together.
i dont talk about hair. i cant talk about hair. i cant up to my friends and start talking bout their hairstyle.
i definitely cant talk about make ups. i DONT and CANT talk about make up.
i dont talk about relationships.
i dont bitch about my friends (unless i m seriously pissed. if u found out that i bitch about u, trust me, i REALLY HATE u that much)
i dont gossip about other people. i HATE gossiping about other people. (public figures are not included)
i dont talk about personal feelings and dont share my personal feelings with others. (u r lucky if i share my personal feeling and thoughts with u)
i definitely dont talk about the ups and downs of my life.
i dont talk about my life, my relationships and happenings in my life. (yes. i m a very private person)(question: why do i have a blog?)
i just dont talk about the girly girl thing. i dont. i think it will make me sounds stupid.

i know. i m weird.

when the clouds are gone

we cant always have the things that we want in this life. sometimes no matter how hard we try, we cant just have everything we want in life. we try and try and try but we still dont get the things that we really want. it is disappointing. sometimes it is too disappointing. we stop trying but continue hoping. because somehow we believe that if we had try our best but it is still not enough, there is always hope. so we hope. we pray and hope. hoping and praying that one day we have the strength to try harder and to do better and hopefully we get the things we want in life.

i see things that i like. but that does not mean i want it. i just like it but i dont want it. because i know i will get bored. when i m bored, i will throw it away. so, i keep coming back. i look and stare at the thing that i like. i enjoy the thing that i like from far. i dont wanna have it but i just love looking at it. it makes me happy by just looking at it. it is enough. i am happy just to look at it.

i dont always want the thing that i like. call me stupid. this is just me.

so i told him that i like him but i dont want him. he sighed. he said he understood. he said, one day when the clouds are gone, he will still be standing at the same place looking directly at me, saying the same thing he told me last night.

i smiled. i m still smiling. one day. when the clouds are gone, there will be sun. i hope he will be the sun. when the clouds are gone, i hope i can still find him.

*blink blink* another bimbo-tic post

bilik saya ada cicak yang besar. amat menggelikan. sungguh geli. saya nak bunuh cicak tuh. tapi saya tak sampai hati nak bunuh cicak tuh. adakah ini bermakna saya tak layak jadi mrs smith mcm dlm movie mr&mrs smith? saya takder killer instinct.

kalau saya boleh bunuh cicak tuh, saya nak join ‘the company’. saya nak tukar profession saya.